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  This deposition answered a lot of questions for me. Ever since I heard of this character I've been wondering what kind of shill he is, exactly what type of asset he is to which agency. It's still not 100% clear but this deposition was done under oath so it confirms some tidbit suspicion I've had.  Christianity is dead. College Education is not necessary. The NWO is a hoax. Climate change is not.  Nevertheless this is still better theater than 99% of films anybody produces today. (I know, under oath)
 I'm in hell. (I'm in jail.)  Come to think of it, my frustration and disappointment in the world was not completely avoidable. I am bewildered whenever I look into somebody's eyes and see a spark of joy ignited by the most excruciatingly mundane things. I have endured physical torment and other forms of mental crucifixion of course, but at the end of the day I always come back to boredom. It is not my inability to discover fun, it's what I see every day- that is, people embracing ugliness, lies, atrocity and all that is unholy in the world.  Why? Since when? It doesn't seem possible to have even a haven for all that is normal and good. Granted, my norm is not your norm... it's not most people's norm. But hell, I yearn for it every day and I WILL make it a reality. 
 The older I am the stranger I find the world as it is. How come most people and things are garbage? I just came across this great production the other day and apparently in less than a decade, all of the crew has disappeared (no trace on the internet). Yet there is endless remake of past franchise that has lost all its flavor. I'm not even sure who the audience is. Is Hollywood hellbent on educating zoomers about 90s humor? It's not going to work.  Anyway, it just amazes me how a decent production, clearly made with love, talent and care has gone largely unnoticed while the public is immersed neck deep in all sorts of media waste.  I look back on some of the books I liked. Those look like garbage now, too. I guess I have grown out of it, but still.  I don't think there is an explanation I can accept for this. I know it's time but it's still hard to put up with the disappointment. 
 I thought learning about Africa would calm me down, and it did to a degree. You seek to learn about things you know nothing about in order to feel calm, otherwise it's just nonsense wherever you look.   Wait...  No it's OK, I don't think I'll ever become an Africa expert.  

Why do I always regret things I say

 By now I know that I'm not supposed to keep a diary or even make determined assessments. However, I still feel strongly about certain current events. It's so Damned I can't talk about them because the reverse will happen.  The internet feels unreal sometimes with the vast, Vast, VAST botnets covering pretty much all sites with user input. Comments, polls, posts... everything is compromised. Also the daily psyops that are on an even larger scale covering all mediums. Sometimes it's hard to tell what is going on anymore. I don't have the best instincts so I still have to figure it out to make informed decisions. But Damn, it's getting exhausting.