I'm in hell. (I'm in jail.)
Come to think of it, my frustration and disappointment in the world was not completely avoidable. I am bewildered whenever I look into somebody's eyes and see a spark of joy ignited by the most excruciatingly mundane things. I have endured physical torment and other forms of mental crucifixion of course, but at the end of the day I always come back to boredom. It is not my inability to discover fun, it's what I see every day- that is, people embracing ugliness, lies, atrocity and all that is unholy in the world.
Why? Since when? It doesn't seem possible to have even a haven for all that is normal and good. Granted, my norm is not your norm... it's not most people's norm. But hell, I yearn for it every day and I WILL make it a reality.