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Showing posts from September, 2020

People feel sorry for themselves, sometimes .

People feel sorry for themselves. I do, too. 
 I think about what I have sacrificed. The certainty of a very lonely life ahead. I'm at peace, yet I still feel sorry for myself. I guess it's self love. 
 It's one ill that I cannot eliminate. 
 I've been struggling with this for a while now. Been trying to find out. Is everything a trade-off? Is everything an equation? Is everything in some kind of stasis? Is the rule here to maintain status quo? 
 I can't think of anything more devastating, but I need to know. Arguing about this is difficult even on a theoretical level, but I have to try. 

CIV Domination Victory

I feel like only Domination Victory is worth playing. This condition allows most diverse gameplay, most elements etc. Religion Victory is the most limited and does not leave much room (at all) for maneuver. Diplomatic Victory is aggravating given how the AI behaves (even as of today). Scientific Victory is just like a default sure-fire way to win, I don't even want to consider it. Only Domination Victory feels like a game. But it feels rote. I remember saying this even last year: I need to stop sinking time into this game. For some reason the more I progress and the closer I am to victory the more frustrating it becomes. I always start from the Ancient Era because I think what I like the most about the game is just land grab. Everything from when you can't establish new settlement feels predictable, intolerable. That's it. I really like having vast, vast swaths of land.
Think of it as a citizen. Would I be happy (or less unhappy) had I been born in Montenegro? New Zealand?…

Fall begins

I'll never forget. 903 is when summer turns into fall this year. I wish I could find the "old internet". I wish the pond was bigger. 
The world will keep growing smaller. In the end, perhaps the only righteous pursuit is math. I can't think of anything more abstract and truthful. Is there a way of thinking that is more objectively accurate than math? Anyhow, I'm not there yet . I feel like we can all see very well into the future at this point- by all I mean nearly 30% of global population. The rest are so passive that you can't really take them into consideration; on a conscious level, they are nonparticipating. But 30% of global population (still a subjective #) is a lot. I'm seeing things that deviate that are soon to be forgotten. I'm anxious about what needs to be done. I'm anxious because it has to be a group effort.