May 30, 2019
1 0 0 0 0 th Day of my life .
I realize some things never change . People talk a lot about growing, but I realize certain part of my psyche will never grow again. "Alter", but grow, really. I'm made. I can accept it. I can accept that I will never change.
10000th day regardless of calendar. 10000 days and nights. Thank you, God and Mom.
I believe in destiny. I have been consistent in the past 10000 days. I don't know what future holds. 10000 days is a lot. It's a long time. It feels whole already, but I am not finished yet.
It surprises me that the 10000th day cements my old belief instead of abolishing it. I suddenly understand why old people are stubborn. Many if not all are unable to change. Nothing will affect me as much as those of my childhood, no matter how grand the new things are in objectivity. Objectivity ceases to impact Subjectivity. Is that a problem?
I don't exactly feel sorry. I don't necessarily want to change my belief. I want to change... but not change myself.
. . .