Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Avoidance

I don't have persecutory fantasy. It's a term I clearly remembered from the MMPI 2 test that stings. I don't even know if that test still holds true anymore.

It's very good, very important and very late for me to outline the pattern I've observed about myself. Indeed I've been trying desperately and insofar fruitlessly to avoid the masses. I can easily keep myself in isolation, but their stupidity find ways to seep in. I really truly need to find a way to sever all ties with the hoards all at once. This is not difficult to do even in crowded locations. In fact, I think I can already manage the physical locations. It's the urge within that I need to work on. I need to resist visiting their forums and watch their entertainment. I need to shut off communication with them entirely. In other words, I have to stop being "curious" about them, which is very difficult to do.

I'm truly too caring. That is too big of a weakness. I mean, it's not wrong, but it's a bit too much. I have to get it under control. I can't have it become personal, no.


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