Sunday, September 15, 2019

Don't you know I want to C U M

Diary:

Let's talk about trans for a second. I fundamentally identify with the pain they're suffering. I knew long before the term became widely used that "gender dysphoria" is a real thing, but the tricky part is I don't believe what's on display right now is a genuine reflection of what lies within.

There are categories within trans people, of course, and I don't know any of them. I just know that the drag queen shows (RuPaul) I stumbled upon- this culture really feels like a parody & mockery of women more than anything. I can't say I know exactly what men are experiencing when they want to become women. I know what some women must be feeling and oddly, no gender reassignment surgery will fix it.

The most important thing that separates men and women is their role in reproduction. Cutting off your genitalia doesn't change that ( lest eliminate it ), so I don't understand why people do it. You just go from one sex to no sex, not the opposite sex. Unless a man can become pregnant somehow or a woman can ejaculate cum and impregnate, there is really no point.

So that's why I've never given the trans thing any thought. It stops right there. I've accepted it and this dysphoria can live in my head.

&

In my head, it's tormented me 1000000000 times.

I really want to know what it feels like to cum and impregnate someone. It's too good being a man. Imagine all the services. Look, most females exist solely to serve men. So many of them spend most of their time to make themselves look good, that's it. And when they walk on the street anyone can look at them. The man they want attention from is prolly hanging out in a private club somewhere or working, both she's too dumb to get in. In the meantime all these gross-looking, t-shirt wearing assholes on the street get a free view. What a life. Babes everywhere. There are just too many beautiful women and I'm too straight. I'm a carnivore stuck in a vegetable garden.

I'm glad the whales and hardcore dykes are out there campaigning, bc if they truly believe in what they preach, they're better than me. I've long lost hope in this gender. Most women are dumb as rocks and hard-wired to please men. Nearly every woman I've come to know in every city I've lived in  in every country is the same. It's fucking nuts. All I can think of is how good it is for a man to enjoy all this.

I had this notion though: what if it's reverse and the camwhores are men- it freaked me out instantly. No. It doesn't work that way. Women's seduction is women's seduction. Seeing femininity in men makes me want to puke. I might as well puke bc of what's going on today...

I think war can fix a lot of these problems.

But anyways. In conclusion, I still don't know what pushed trans people to go through transition, like what are the convincing, legitimate reasons. I have not found any. But fundamentally I relate to them. Well, half of them. Why in the fuck would anyone want to become a woman. Give me a break.

One rhetoric I often see is women's lives are easy. Yeah but those are also despised. If you're a humanitarian, you ought to recognize the humanity and dignity in others even when they themselves don't. Do you know what I mean? Like a girl has no self respect and trades sex for money (for about 10 years tops), you shouldn't be saying her life is easy, that's outright retarded even as an observation. You ought to see the humanity in the person and feel sorry for the fact that she doesn't have a clue in life and that she's rotting as a human. Even if you can't help her, the feeling is sorry and not envy. I have no doubt many men would in fact happily live an easy life this way as some low life- many do- but like I said, as a humanitarian, I only see the deterioration in humanity.

There have been too many lies and acts of egregious injustice committed against women that I don't think will be fixed in the short remainder of humanity. It'd be good, sure, but we don't have time for it and we can't act fast enough. I can't say this human experiment was successful. I think much of human potential has been wasted. I think we could've had flying cars by 7th century. But no, men had to turn MOST WOMEN into fuck toys and house maids.

No for real, we could've had flying cars by 7th century. Suppose 1% of women are not retarded, we could've had flying cars by 7th century, and more.

What a waste. What a waste!

And by my own observation, h'what is the non-retardation rate in men? About 1 in 1000. Heh. Fancy seeing a woman bending over backward to cater to some dumbass man. "Will he notice this little tweak in my appearance, be it hair, makeup or clothing?" No just strip naked. And don't say you also wear it for other women, we're not gay.

Sad as fuck, man. If only MOST WOMEN can accept that men are simple-minded creatures and stop trying so hard, it would relieve so much tension. No one should spend that much time getting ready. Why don't you try to make HIM look good so it motivates you to fuck him? What's the objective here?

I don't think I can visit pornhub for the rest of the year. That place is sad as fuck, oh God. I'm sorry for this diatribe Diary but the floodgate is open. Every time I go to pornhub I'm saddened by the kind of sex people are having. In this time and age, still so uncreative and unpassionate... it's so fucking sad. I don't have any other word. Oh God. So sad. I can't believe it. Even the professional ones of course. Then I thought maybe the good ones don't want to film it. Kind of selfish but understandable ... I would know, don't you think?

Anyway. because of this mentality I have- I love myself and accept who I am and who I want to be, I embrace and endure the pain and need massive amount of satisfaction to overcome it, so I have standards. I really fucking need both parties to be hot and beautiful and really fuck hard. I really don't know if it's wise- prolly NOT- but I really might have to illustrate some day. It is insane how outstanding and lonesome I am in some fields, Diary. It's insane.

What would you feel if everyone at the party describes this delicious gourmet food to you and how popular it is, how prestigious it is, how coveted it is, whatever, and when they show it to you it's a fucking BLT sandwich. FUCK OFF. I'm pressing hard at this urge to show them.

I really feel like an IMPORTANT ART is lost among humans. You know they imitate what they watch so... it's like all downhill from then.

Onto something else. Disk writing speed is kind of slow. I may be getting 1 iPhone 11. It still baffles me how a phone is supposed to cost more than a laptop. I just can't justify it. I also can't make sense as to why they must become bigger every year while pocket size stays the same. The fashion industry and the tech industry need to have a honest conversation. Could be why people have to have phones in their hand all day bc they can't stuff it in their pocket. I really don't care about the camera. You know most phone reviews I read recently don't even talk about RECEPTION. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. WHAT DO YOU NEED A PHONE FOR. Again I really can't justify the price anyone's paying for these shitty features. A lot of these is just people wasting time. An idiot is going to do what an idiot does. When you have saved an idiot from labor, he's not going to go on and improve himself let alone the society. He's going to have inane conversation with his idiot friends to pass the time. Ask the dumbass who lives on the street who fucking laughs for no reason for hours on end every single day. It gives me PTSD.

Again, I think Spain is great, but their joy has scarred me. Their laughter has damaged me beyond recovery. I wish they could tone down and stop laughing for a second. I don't think there is anything in the world that can keep a Spaniard down. I can't think of anything. Sure, they might cry, but prolly not ruminate. It really traumatizes me to encounter people who laugh so loud so easily. It really is traumatizing. It'd be raining for an hour and it's all wonderful and quiet in the street. AS SOON AS  the rain stops, like 10 seconds afterward, people would swarm the street and start LAUGHING. WHAT- THE- ACTUAL- FUCK. This is like a true nightmare for me.

I can get through this, Diary. Despite everything, I appreciate what I have. This is objectively my only choice at the moment. I don't view it as everybody does, but I can appreciate it. Their positivity is truly grating... but I can get through this.

You & me together.














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