Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Witnessing other people's existential crisis

My jaw hurts a lil. I can't even touch my face anymore.

Understanding and relating really are two different things. I don't really relate to other people's existential crisis nor care to read about them anymore. What's left? We're all alone. The constant trade-off is interesting.

Rule, then have something to show for it.

Imaginary people give me money, they're still imaginary.

Imaginary people teach me things, they're still imaginary.

Imaginary people exchange words with me online, they're still imaginary.

For the record I don't believe people live in a simulation, in fact that's the dumbest theory I've ever heard.

But people don't feel real anymore. Even those I interact with in real life. We all know that. This is an interesting trade-off. I'm not sure there is going back. I'm slow to adapt to this. How's everyone else doing?

If I'm to take what I read on the internet at face value, a lot worse than me. That doesn't necessarily make me happy- nothing will, but still. These are the people that could've been happy otherwise, that's why I find it curious.

How to make what is actually already real feel more real- or real at all sometimes? That's the question.

I'm finding these common themes, Diary- they're nothing new. I feel like at least to me, new things would actually feel more real. Does that mean I'm numb to repetitive things? Aren't we all?

I consider other people bc I need to be correct, y'know.

I'm thinking for an absolutist that isn't really necessary.

Simple things, extremely simple things.

Once you understand how, an object or subject loses its mystery.

Once you understand why, an intrigue loses all of its meaning.

I've known the world is consumable for some time, Diary. No one can save me from this revelation. The speed of creation is not as fast as consumption right now.

To that end, many have become historians. But still.

I do feel hopeless


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