Friday, July 5, 2019

Fucked up information

Fucked up information sends me down... or up... or some other direction in a particular spiral.

I want to figure out what will become of the earth in the future. No no, it's not climate change talk, well sort of, but I want to see as far as possible. I want to figure out exactly how many ways the earth can end. I kind of figured that what if dead rocky planets all had life before and they simply did not survive. More than that, I'd like to know if the reason we don't see other intelligent life out there is because they wiped themselves out.

I'd like to pretend as if I have the power to decide: should humanity survive?

But taking a step back, it's also: can humanity prevail?

If humanity can prevail they should certainly survive.

So now it's not a question of "should" but whether we can.

Conscience still plays a part in this.

I simply don't have the energy to explain to people, Diary. I always dreaded this. I can't explain the same thing twice. I can't even bring myself to tell people my name... it's gone to the point where I'd rather make up a casual alias every time- to strangers that I don't plan on associating with, of course.

It's not that I like to lie, I hate lying. It's just I'm at the point where I really cannot tolerate repetition. I'm also at capacity for falsehood.

I just don't want to talk to anyone who doesn't already know about me anymore. No, I can't do it anymore. People have to educate themselves. I've very rarely got into debate, and it's so draining. Feeding information orally is something of antiquity. It's over now.

I know my expectation is off. I know not everyone is an information sponge. But I just can't. There are too many stupid people. It's not possible for anyone to talk sense into them one by one. It's not doable. They themselves must be open to new ideas and contradicting ideas. They themselves must decide to think. Once they decide to think, all the information they need is out there.

I can't do it, Diary.

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