Sunday, May 5, 2019
It was not this cold this time of the year last year . I remember now .
It's pretty bad now. I'm freezing . Why ? Oh , of course , but also .
It's pretty bad, Diary .
I can hardly put up this dogshit music. No music is sad enough .
This fatigue is real. I fucked up - I mean - tweaked enough games . I can't even touch my old favorites anymore, and no new games captured my interest. I can't fathom how or why anyone would enjoy them. Games are supposed to be this great thing. You can experiment great concepts and rules with it. They don't no more .
It's pretty cagey. It's all pretty cagey .
It was proper summer this time last year. Now it feels like November again .
I guess this is how it's supposed to . . .
I'm swaying... swaying... and swaying between these two ideas, but it's time to stop. There is no holding on to hope . I must concede that it is what it is . As much I hope I'm wrong, I wasn't... I'm not. I don't consider it a betrayal, if my allegiance was not willfully given in the first place. I had no choice, but now I do. Now I have choices. I choose. I take back the allegiance that was arrogantly and cruelly assumed of, and I choose who I give it to . It's a great feeling .
So, what I'm saying is, Diary . Listen . Observe .
Do the anti-intuitive thing . Do the right thing . Do .
at May 05, 2019