Monday, April 15, 2019

Arresting Nightmare

I can't wait to tell you about the nightmare I had last night. It was long and draining. Having that dream is worse than hiking for five hours straight. I'm telling you. I wonder why my skin is getting so dry lately. I'm guessing it's because I open my mouth to scream in those nightmares, but I can't make any sound so I just lied there breathing / panting with my mouth open. That has to be the one reason that's getting me so dehydrated. My skin is flaking around my mouth. I had to apply moisturizer 3 times today. That should give you an idea.

On the other hand, I want to tell you quickly- I'm dying to put it past me- I'm mortified by what I said about Ben Shapiro. His voice is grating to hear now and once you notice how bad he stutters there is no going back. It's almost as bad as Jordan Peterson- I'm grossed out to even type this name in my Diary but please bear with me- it's almost as bad as the latter's suddenly raised voice. It's unnerving. At some point I realized these are nothing more than caricatures.

That's the thing though, Diary. Maybe Georgie had the right idea. You can get away and get by being wrong or caricatures or non-productive, because you can afford to. It's all about entertainment. Driving away boredom. Yes I know everything can be explained simply, and if we are all to live up to our potential and prioritize efficiency and innovation, we could have dominated the galaxy by now. But this is our history. What is now is what is now.

I'm a little sad about what's lost in public space, that's all. I'm not sure if it's a good thing. No. I'm pretty sure it's not a good thing. I don't want people get neglected and abandoned like they are now. I don't... deep down in my heart, I don't view all of it as a farce. There could be meaning.

The deadly chill is still around me. Mid-April. 

I have to worry about myself first. The nightmare is going to consume me.

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