Sunday, September 2, 2018

No false economy


I crashed the night I came back from the Black Light exhibit. I had a little red wine btw - & speaking of h'which, I had to take down the page because you don't need to hear my opinion on wine right now because I mix it with coke. Anyway, I had a heavy dream that night.

Think of the brain as a computer, I burned my GPU that night. I mean, it's like I was running Crysis in my dream. There was this whole armada with huge, detailed aircraft carriers on the sea, at dusk, and choppers in the sky. mean, everything is "rendered" so well, it's actually costing me energy to sleep. I woke up feeling more tired than before and at least this time I know why. It was epic. It was so vivid. I'll never forget it.

I think I know how to control my impulses better than ever now - well, I don't think it's "control", I just know better - that's all. For one, I don't start things I know I won't want to finish. That applies to most things actually. It never occurred to me before that once you start to get involved with people, there has to be an end, and that end is not only foreseeable but also predictable to a large extent. Most of the time they'll just waste my time 100% of the time. And if you know from the start the person is not worth it, where do you suppose this is going to go? Anyway. I know better now.

Impulses. Yeah.

Good God, Diary.

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