Oops I deleted a draft from the day before yesterday, but that's OK. I just wanted to say that even though in the past few months I have felt delicate, elegant and feminine, I have decided that long hair isn't for me. My body rebels, too. But it's good to find out for sure and make up my mind for good. 24 hours from now, I will not have long hair no more. And what's more, I'm determined to get the three phase meter thing fixed tomorrow as well. I'm moved to build my own generator more than ever.
I only had to debate it a little- but it's clear that someone like me simply will not buy a second-hand house. Or one built from scratch w/ conventional method. No. I must build one of those prefab houses and know exactly where everything is at and how to fix it. I must have enough solar panels that- I remember in an off-grid group post someone mentioned you could have enough electricity to sell back to National Grid- that's not my aim, and it's probably in Florida or some place, but every little thing I'm dependent on other people brings me frustration and aggravation. I can't stand the power tripping no more. I'm going to control every thing in my life no matter how big or small it is. I honestly believe it's the purpose of evolution, at least for people like me. People who need the support of others and who need to socialize with others- they can congregate however they want. But I'm done. I'm reducing my dependency on others bit by bit, and one day it'll be gone.
Interestingly, I will still be connected with others of the world. Only- in a more meaningful way.
I thought about a lot of things in the past few days, as usual, and I can see why I'm doing all sorts of countdown. God gave me a sign- a warning sign today, and I'm going to heed it. I'm going to trust my experience. I'm going to have despair & faith .