Thursday, August 9, 2018

OK now


Hi Diary. I feel better now. I don't know why I was so depressed earlier. I actually passed out. But then I'm OK again. Probably because it's late now and it's quiet on the street, and the air is finally cool because of the rain and there are crickets chirping, so.

I guess I've been waiting for someone to point out to others that I'm the most misanthropic person they've ever seen, and all my recent discoveries disturbed me. I don't know. It bothers me to not like what I am a part of, and that's totally normal. I have to do the one thing that makes me less depressed, as always, and that is to tell the truth... to follow the truth.

There really is no way around anything. I hate people, yet there must be others who hate people as much as I do. That alone should comfort me, but still. I just... I just really have to face it, Diary. I don't want to see people, I don't want to hear people, I don't care about their lives or what they do, but in the abstract I'm very much dependent on them. How does that work?  Well we have already figured that out. I need patience, and like I said, extreme discipline. I don't know if I can control myself from passing out. Just the noise out there is...

God. When have I become so frail?

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