Thursday, August 9, 2018
a different day, the same despair
It just rained a little bit, so why do I still feel so sad?
Perhaps because I know it'll never happen again for a long, long time. Times after times, I see the weather report say it's going to rain, to only change it to cloudy, and then sunny hours before it should happen. It is nature, it is science. I was hopeful, I was hopeless.
I am thoroughly drained, Diary. I pray, I beg for it to rain a little bit longer, but things dry up in a few minutes. Tomorrow will be sunny again... I can't take it anymore.
No snow in winter... no rain in summer... I have plugged myself in a hell hole.
I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Diary...
I know it sounds insane, but I just want t tend a garden. I want to see nature. I don't want to be in a city anymore. I want to live somewhere with snow and rain. Always. Always.
I will never betray myself again.