Thursday, May 17, 2018

I fell


It's amazing how this thick robe provides no warmth whatsoever. I don't actually need to eat ice cream all summer because this loft is on the cooler side.

I fell. It's no big deal.

I also had vegan ham for the first time today, and I immediately wanted to strangle a goat with my own hands and feast on its raw flesh. We both know I couldn't bear to summon a goat when it's grazing but that's how I felt at the time. It's that bad. The vegans go out of their way to season their food because they still desire the taste of meat, but the result is just not appealing. I'd rather eat nothing than eat vegan food over meat.

I can predict the future, Diary- I can see that I'm still going to be this unhappy 10 years from now. There is nothing about me that will change,  when it comes to the perception (or the incapability) of happiness. I think it's high time to become a historian, now, because all the good things, all the good times are gone. There is nothing I look forward to. There will be infinite boring people cropping up everywhere, they're going to be excited about the most mundane things and live on. So be it. I'm going to do what I can to savor the past - the past I didn't experience myself, but it will be beautiful in my mind, for sure.

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