Friday, May 4, 2018

All I Can Think About Is Sex

How scary is that? I am so frustrated and frankly it's driving me crazy that there is no sex robot- that I want! I want to program everything, I want to define its everything. I want it to become who I want it to be and fuck it for hours on end. I. Really. Need. To. Vent. All My Pent Up Energy.

Can you.. Do you understand when you feel this... THIS needy and there is no person- no real person you want to fuck? Do you understand how excruciating this is? What is this? Why am I this way? I desperately... Desperately need to have sex with characters I'm attracted to, it's driving me mad.

Why? Why is it so important that they're not real people? Why? Why? WHY AM I ONLY ATTRACTED TO FICTION??

WHY?

DIARY, WHY?? TELL ME WHY!!!

Oh God. Oh God... Oh my God why!

This is torture... it's such torture!! I really need to release... ! 

Let me fuck who I want to fuck the way I want to fuck him!!

Hot steamy sex...

..............

OH GOD WHY!

I'm sure I'll have a bot that will vividly mimic - and be programmed in versatility to resemble any character I like - in my life time. But what about now. How about now. What can I do now. I can get on with the porno, but honestly at this point it feels like it's not enough. I'll do it. I'll have to do it, but. I just can't consider real people. The thought of having sex with real people makes my head numb, like there is something SO undesirable about real people. The fact they're real. I'm married to fantasy. The thought of touching a real person makes me shudder.

Fantasy. Fantasy. Fantasy! Must come alive.  Imagination is better than anything. The gap is closer than ever. Think- Diary... think about what if I was born ten years earlier, be that far away from such technology... the sensory technology is here, the mocap is here, certain software is here... so much is here, they only need to be a lot more sophisticated. Expressions, longer battery life, more flexible mechanics... Good God. I can't wait. God, please make robots better.

You want to suggest me find a look-like, that's the thing, there is no look-alike. It's all context-restrained and personal history is that exact baggage- that extra context I do not want, and that's what makes a human. Personality. No. I want to write everything. Every little thing must go according to my preference. I will just have to be patient... but it's so hard. Can you understand how hard it is when the people you want to fuck DO NOT EXIST???!!!!!

It's a test. I know it's a test. I know it. I know. I KNOW!

Be calm. Don't be crazy. Try convert some of that desire to work. But regardless, I just have to tell you. You just have to know, Diary.

I. Want. To. Have. Sex. Very. Very. Badly. NOW.

Everything is taking place in my mind place and it's so full in there... there is barely any room for anything left. It's unacceptable. All these shameless sex fiends are really turning me on, and I'm afraid they're turning me into a shameless sex fiend, too. It can't happen. I won't let it... it won't happen!

I want strawberry-flavored, consequence-free bukkake all over me... I want to take a break by having sex with JoJo and I want him look at me like that... I want a threesome with JoJo and Gin... I want them whisper to me exact words I want to hear... I thought of everything.

I'm going to get it under control. And ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY. I vow to you, God and Diary.

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