Friday, April 20, 2018

People !

Oh My Fucking God, Ramblas is llena LLENA LLENA OTRA VEZ !
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People people people are everywhere ! Young and old and from all around the world all over the place OMG AGAIN! The tourist season has officially begun OMG! What the hell do they possibly need in Carrefour?

And it was hot as hell out there. OMG. SO HOT. Do I have to skip spring clothes altogether ? !   Damn it, the most I have is Spring & Fall clothes.

I totally understand the Catalan & Basque anti-tourist sentiment now. I suppose it's worse up there because Vizcaya is a small enclave whereas Catalonia is kind of used to it. But imagine living in this condition for years on end. I get it now. I thought they were fussy but I totally get it now. I wonder if the llamas in Machu Picchu feel the same. Probably not.

You know, I had a strange dream last night about two dogs. I hope you remember this dream and its lesson.

Another thing that's bothering me is age. I think I can pass for a 20-yo no problem so if anyone asks, I'm 20 now, or 22. I think the day I look 40 is the day I'll kill myself. I can't live with it. Aging is too horrifying. I genuinely thought about altering my birth record... but then no, I had to look it up & Delaware does not allow anyone < 18 to form C Corp & since I've had it for 6 years that would make me 14 when I formed it (lol) so I'll just say I'm 20. The fact that I formed it when I was 20 means I can only ( at most ) dial it back 2 years on record, and it makes this operation not worth it anymore. But damn it, I've realized it's not possible for me to look older than I can accept. I was going to kill myself at 50 anyway, but now I have the added pressure to never look beyond 40. Old people is just too sad. You know that's actually a big "philosophical" discovery I had in the past year. The elongated lifespan of humans is not necessarily a good thing. Why live on if both your mental and physical functions are deteriorating? It's not right. They can't work, can't contribute to anything significantly (speaking of gen pop) and it's just not worth it. I believe the ideal cycle is to finish all school (even PhD) by the time one turns 16, then work till 36, and retire.

Quality of life- too damn important, Diary.

​FYI I can't even watch most films that have old/mid-aged protagonist anymore, it's that serious.

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