Tuesday, April 3, 2018


If you thought I couldn't be let down any further...

I forgot about the other thing I was going to talk to you about. Hopefully I'll mention it in "Reversal".

I've thought a lot about P2. The best I can do with syntax analysis is to generated a chart, and by then I will still have to manually sort and pick. The only use then... is the categorization, which I can pre-config.

Maybe it's meant to be a personal database, or at best with limited access to some people I choose. But not even public. But is that fair? It's funny that I still ask this question. It's because I'm a principle-based creature, but this morning I was thinking: how predictable does that make me?

People act based on predictability. But the action towards someone... 

I think if your principles are unusual, maybe you shouldn't worry so much.

Or you know, it doesn't even have to be there, if it's only current events.

No it does have to be there. I don't think hosting fee is a concern. 300 days...

I read some of my earlier posts today. It seems I was delirious at times. I admit although last year was the Year of New Light, it had a lot of dark sides. I had a difficult time and bitter pills to swallow.

I was wrong about one thing. I'm not a pessimist. I am... or should I say, I was, a raging optimist. Only an optimist can rise up after being disappointed so many times. Only an optimist never accepts the cold hard reality and has expectation and good hopes for other people. Even when I was saying " there is no hope ", I still had hope. It's funny alright.

Yeah... I truly was an optimist. Despite... everything. Who knew.

I pity my last year's self. I don't always pity my previous year's self but this one in particular hurt. The beast lies down and lets dogs gnaw on it, lets vultures pick it apart and lets maggots consume its remains... in what way is this just? It's not selflessness, it's stupidity, going against rules of nature. I've seen it happen before. I took caution. It won't happen.

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