I've figured it out. The chosen ones are the ones having it all going for them. It may seem retarded how easy it is, I mean how common sense it is, but I've only figured it out now.
I must not be a chosen one, then. At least not by luck. I'm chosen by fate, but not luck. This seems like a tragedy. So this is why I must be the way I am, why I can't loosen up and relax, it's because I have no luck on my side. I can't be a free spirit. It's ironic, I look like a free spirit but.
Good night Diary. I must have discipline, or else... I must accept it.