Friday, December 8, 2017

It was worse before it's better

I've decided to take shower in the morning from now on.

A horde of people went through this passage today.

I have yet to get myself into the mania I need to be in. It's ironic isn't it? First I needed to be calm, now I need to be a maniac.

It's actually a nice feeling knowing your blood is being drained into a cotton pad. It's dying without the actual outcome.

Like the 6 house situation. Oh yes. I do remember now that I did them for very good reasons.

The first place, I was one of the only few that escaped the boarding school... at night. I didn't have to deal with curfew and rules anymore. I was living like an adult.

The second place was just a dorm, how it was assigned by the school. I could complain about my luck, but on the bright side, it was just above the dining hall.

The third place was the best I could do under such a short time notice. I didn't have to live more than 300m from school my whole college years - only a few managed that.

The fourth place was great, and the window thing was my own negligence.

The fifth place was the only time I lived with my international friends, and again, the best I could manage in short time notice after returning from a semester abroad.

The 6th place, now, is great. It's got no heating pipes because this is one of those designer eco buildings with avant-garde lifestyle concept. The location is amazing.

I've come to realize that there is an upside and downside to every of my major trade-offs. I've made those decisions for very good reasons. When it comes to housing, I'm sane and I know that location is always the priority. I'm sure I could always do better in retrospect, but who could live in retrospect...?

I can just hope that I have become older and wiser. One of those is for sure. I will be 26 in a month. Calendar says I will have lived on this earth for 1356 weeks. It is still terrifying, and I don't know what it means. For now I crave some oily, spicy shredded beef if you know what I'm talking about. They don't sell that here. Why is that most snacks are sweet. I just might be developing sweet tooth after all these years.

I wonder what goes on in other solar systems. We have exhausted our imagination and potential. I know it's a harsh thing to say, but it is true when you look at the new stuff that's coming out every day these days. I've been trying to pinpoint where have we peaked, culturally speaking, and I could not find it. I will, some day. The old made culture for us to consume, and today we work at better laws and morals to ensure everyone has equal rights and every dimwit can live like a king. I have no passion for life if not for God, and I doubt if my purpose will be realized in this life.

What if when you open a door and the secret behind it is nothing new? The hallway goes on and on, and there are infinite number of doors. I hope God sheds some light on me once more and deliver me from this eternal boredom.

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