Friday, December 29, 2017

I finished vol 1 today

It's a strange yet familiar feeling to find someone catching your thought... from nearly 40 years ago. I felt my cheeks burning from some reason as I went through the pages. It's fantastical how the editor addressed each of my concern, in fact followed the stream of my consciousness. It's just amazing. This is what thoughtfulness is, I guess. I just, it just almost never happens otherwise. But you know what, despite what the editor said, and I believe it's 100% genuine and honest that they did believe everyone is entitled to such, it's still incredibly elitist. They ceded that economic security should come first, though there is absolute feasibility of reading great works concurrently, but I know people can easily lose their life in pursuing economy security, or any safety they feel at heart, and have no leisure to spare. The leisure the editor talks about is not those five or six hours after work and before going to bed, it's really a mental state. It's a want also. Convincing somebody to do something because it's their duty, and if they don't do it they don't deserve some of their rights is not a good persuasion. I wonder if the editor despairs at the sight of today, all the moronic Marvel shit. But I see Great Books Foundation has a collection on pop culture, it's just I can't seem to get it here. I'll be very curious to read those, too.

I don't know how I should feel about our state actually. I'm not completely confident to say that it's a disgrace because I haven't lived in any previous era and I don't know what it's like. What if all the bad shit gets destroyed in our time and the history books and internet archive only suggest the good stuff? Future generations might get weird sorts of nostalgia, too. Of course I know it's impossible. I think we're quite doomed, but I might not see the end of it in my life yet.

I'm not following its plan, it irks me to follow excerpts and I'd rather read it whole, in order. So briefs on vol 2 tomorrow, same with vol 3. First proper book after that.

I don't accept all the views (hell yeah it's biased, though as far as the purpose of the collection is concerned to the minimum) but there is some sobering truth in there that I hadn't entertained before. Yeah, the west does not need to learn about the east if the east has fallen to total materialism. I would argue that the old, good stuff is always worth learning but politically, they're right. This really is the end game. There is no such initiative in the east, to be sure. It'll remain a mystery to the west till its death. How sad.

It's too sad.

You know what else is sad, I have to throw away the kaki tomorrow cause it's been in the fridge for over a month. There is no fresh stuff in my fridge anymore and I'll have to be ever so careful. I don't think fruit vendors will want to sell me seeing how little I eat everyday. There is no way I can eat at the rate of everybody else. It's consuming me.

I'm not anorexic by any means Diary, I never have been. I'll have you know that I had a bucket of fried chicken this week, though I ate it in 2 days and could barely stomach anything else. The thing is I only eat one meal a day Diary. That meal is an ordinary meal, but I just can't fathom preparing 3 meals every day. Eating 3 meals a day could very likely cost you 3-4 hours. That's terrifying.

Am I dying a slow one or a fast one?

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