Sunday, November 26, 2017

Sick bed

Is this a sick bed?

Good Lord Diary. I must get up early tomorrow. I have a horrible feeling about both things I intend to complete tomorrow. 1, I think the office will give me trouble. 2, I can't bear to think that the toilet guy will mess up the toilet and I won't be able to use it... just unfathomable. I went to a hostel just to shower when Endesa, this piece of shit company just wouldn't work, but I can't fathom going to a hostel again just to pee. Or shit. What do I do? Please don't mess it up. You're hired to fix it, please don't make it worse.

I wish I can fix everything myself, Diary. But some things you have to depend on others, and it's horrible. Please don't mess it up for me.

Oh God I have such dread for such little things. You cannot know how much dread is in my heart. Corte Ingles also (again) divided my 1 order into 6 shipments, so I'll be receiving packages 6 times... again. I can't live here forever, Diary. If this is Barcelona, one of its best cities. I just can't. I feel so defeated, frustrated every day. I want to live with either extremely competent and reserved people or robots, just robots.

Have you seen some of the "witty things" my "peers" have said? They make me want to cry. I genuinely feel so sad when I read them. How can liking avocado be a personality? How can you profess to be a seasoned traveler when all you can manage is hostel hopping or couchsurfing in the most touristy places or no-name surroundings and rely on instagram filters afterward? Do people really think their chicken claw doodles are art? Do they really think their experience is unique because no one experienced it with them? Do they really think they should have "fans"? I don't get it Diary, it turns my stomach. How will this generation change when they're in their 40s? Let's look at those who were born in the 80s, they're fast approaching a mid-... a late mid-life crisis. What are they doing? What faggoty gadgets have they invented besides those who were inspired by and benefited from the dot com era? Kudos to them. And bitcoins, I suppose some of us got on it too. But what else? These things are pure luck and not human ingenuity. People don't care anymore, do they.

I can't change, Diary. I won't. It's so painful but I won't.

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