Thursday, November 9, 2017

Separatists on the Streets

There has been a brand new graffiti on the walls right across the street. Blood red graffiti. One has to ask why would anyone deface a hundreds-year-old building, but then again, why would people go to war...

This hatred will not be as palpable in print. I felt it. I still don't understand where the sentiment stemmed, I mean I know it on paper, but I don't feel it. I know it's here, for sure, today, but...

They're against so many nonsensical things. Earlier this year they were against tourists, now they're against their country. I still, for the life of me, can't see any of European countries as "big country", no matter what kind of damage they can do... or did. Physically speaking, they're kind of small compared to what I'm used to. That might change, I don't know. But it affects my perspective.

Alas I have other things to worry. Christmas is right around the corner, or so it feels, as stores are all preparing themselves for Christmas sales. It only saddens me. Without the holiday spirit, I'm the same as anyone, just busy with my own life. But when holiday comes around, I'm reminded of the lifestyle I chose, and how I have no one.

I hope I didn't make it sound sadder than it actually is. It is just reality. I hope this is a brief reminder. I don't regret it, diary, I don't. If anything, maybe I just want company for the holidays and no other time. It simply doesn't work that way. Is it worth it to keep people around all the other times just so you can enjoy a traditional holiday for that 1%, or should I say 1/365 or 2/365 of the time? Obviously it doesn't.

I'm aware this novelty feeling is called loneliness. I want to hug something. Hug something very warmly, very tightly, let go, and then get on with my life. The ticking of time is still terrifying. The polars of my days, darker and brighter, are getting more severe every day. But I've also grown more placid.

How can I not? Answers only gives you acceptance.

Lawyers, am I right? Looking into some cases.

It's a wonder how I've worked with some lawyers and heard many more stories but only lost a small fortune that hopefully will seem like nothing - it won't...

anyways, self-reliance. I'm not here to preach, everything is on case-by-case basis, I suppose.   I just... you know.

In what direction are we heading in, Diary? What is the future? What lies in the future? What IS IN the Future?

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