Friday, November 24, 2017

Jam

Evidently I did not come back and finish my story, what's worse, I blanked you out the next day. I passed out in the last two days and it's Saturday today I finally made up what is lost. I woke up at 1:30 pm and now it's 2 hours after that.

OK Diary. The dream I had on Thursday was I met someone I liked, an actor, in this aquarium shop that also sold tea. We chatted about our families for a bit and he said he wished I would join his family and become his little sister. I immediately knew in my dream that it was a man's way of rejection, and I was let down. Do keep in mind it's dream logic and has nothing to do with my real life. Just telling you how it is in the dream.

I think it's telling me that people are different than what they portray. No matter how much publicity you receive, it's only magnifying what you want to put out, and not necessarily what you truly want.

Then I got my files on Friday, but I was late. It's just my luck. I was there on 1:54 and they were closing at 2:00. But also if I left home earlier, even if just for 10 minutes, I would've probably gotten it all sorted. Now I'm facing the weekend gap.

As you know yesterday was "Black Friday", it's finally spread to Europe from the great US of A. But it's just depressing over here. I was walking down on Psg Gracia and all I saw were people with H&M bags. H&M depresses the fuck out of me. They only solely manufacture the most generic clothing of just passing quality. I mean it's barely a deal at 20% off. Don't you have better things to get on Black Friday? The people with H&M bags really bummed me out. Like it's a luxury shopping street but they were only out for the cheapest, lousiest stuff.

What I wanted to know was if any subscription was on sale. Yes Diary, ever since I left Portland and cancelled my WSJ subscription, I haven't subscribed to any magazine or paper yet. I have been focusing on topical books, but I feel a little left out. I think one of my biggest pains in life is the fact that I have never read The Economist. I had a chance in college, but I didn't. I mean I chose not to. No doubt I will go through their archive.

I know it's a little late for the debate, but let's settle this. I have already subscribed to The New York Times, but I'm not decided on The New Yorker. I like it a lot, but only if I reside in New York. Which is never.

Alright I distracted myself for a second and now it's 4am the next day. Great. I don't have time for Le Monde diplomatique, simply, so I'm sticking to:

National Graphic, The New York Times, The Economist, New Scientist, The New York Review of Books.

These should be enough to keep me occupied... I mean up to date. I do mean I will subscribe them for life though. However, however short my life is going to be things might change. I can't fathom all the rest of my days are spent in this commercial empire... I mean... I mean the way people do things... I mean when things change drastically, it might impact these papers. No it will, for sure. And there will be better news, and I'll look out for that. But, you know, I'm counting on change. I'm fairly comfortable with what I have to deal with in the next 10 years, which is dreadful, but things will change.

I haven't even showered today thinking how cold it is and how people say you don't have to shower every day in winter because it's totally unnecessary. But no. Look how disgusting it is. And somehow my head is bleeding again. Blood clot. It bleeds randomly since I was a kid. It's one of the million billion reasons I might die any second. I'm so OK with it.

Good night Diary!

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