Thursday, September 7, 2017


Why is Ramin Djawadi such an amazing composer? That is so great. I just found out today that he's behind some of the greatest, note, not only my personal favorite but also some of the objectively greatest TV tracks.

Ah. Let me gross you out a bit further.

Honey sweet bear Abruzzi died today, again. I can't handle it. I mean, I can't handle how cute he is in the last episode. I know you find it gross. I know. I can't help it.

I think it might be important to find out why our attractions are, but I don't know if that will ruin the magic. Even when I'm not paying attention, I'm sensing a pattern over the years. I realize I don't want to spell it out loud.

Ahh..  ever since I discovered... you know. the...

How big can papers get.

I read about Nussbaum the other day. Over five hundred papers yet I have never heard of this woman in a professional setting. Never came across one of those five hundred papers in my safari. Ongoing safari, but it's gone long enough that I should have heard of her. I have not. The setting in which I heard about her was kind of a joke.

Maybe those papers are filler types published in... yeah.

Anyway. Papers is not the way to go.

I have a feeling I'm a little behind on this. I don't know what is the best...

Not everything translates...

Ah, wait.

I feel like a turtle sometimes. A turtle in the ocean. I feel like I know how turtles feel.

Sometimes you think you know an animal, but then you find out they have body part you didn't know existed. Like inside the penguin's mouth, I do not ever want to look into that again.

This romanticization is in stark contrast with reality.

I know it's sick.

But you know what, diary, I can't feel a thing anymore because of what I discovered. Not this. It changed a lot of things for me. It really... toppled my world.

Ah... what else can I focus on.


It's clearer than ever what I can focus on.

You wait, Diary.

I didn't DARE to think that God is... in a sense... in the same position as I... and everybody else.  This fact is too chilling to fathom.

But my faith in God isn't a blind faith, it's never because someone told me so. I chose to believe in it on my own, out of my own volition, and I am 100% devoted to it.

I am still God's Faithful. I just... as a little, puny human being I'm trying to process this thing that's greater than even God.

I know how this sounds Diary, I know... I can't tell you. I can never tell you. I can never tell you anything. I can let out my stress by poking a small hole in it, let it stream so it never hits the ceiling, but I can't release the dam and let it all out.

Oh Diary... you have been helpful.

I have to... I have to wash the dishes now.

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