Thursday, September 14, 2017
I figured out why I caught cold
I have been exceptionally weak in the past two days. Neck and above straight burning up.
Then I remembered it's all because I found the M.Grifoni T too late. It's basically hollow in the middle, and my belly's caught air. I should never hang two pieces on one hanger and I won't do it again.
And this is where for the hundredth time I wonder how can I survive outside of my elements. Glad we're not rating fitness based on survival anymore. But boy, I just shudder to think how weak I am.
Below 22C- too cold, above 26C- too hot. Can't even go 24 hours without eating.
I'm gray as a gargoyle, Diary.
I'm like some sort of fruit... no- you know what I'm saying? How does someone go from the second after shower, having that clear, supple skin, so soft- to turning into this gray, half-dead gargoyle in half an hour? I don't get it.
Anyhow, note is going to pile up again. I should probably go to the park again soon?
I'm not just complaining, Diary. I have to fix this body somehow. A greater physical strength will allow me to work more efficiently. I'm not saying I should not have to eat, I mean I wish I don't have to be so delicate.
I have to take care of myself, something I've always been reluctant to do.
I don't know. It's like another person. I don't know what to do to relax. I have so little intrinsic understanding of joy. Maybe I'll only feel that by contact when I'm with a simpleton. Remember what I got today, that may be justified.