Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Oh


I don't know why it's getting here... the dream I had last night.

I got.. eh I don't know how to tell you. Jotaro got pregnant. It wasn't me, it was an enemy stand. Somehow it has to do with me though. Or I was just there... God. I didn't want to tell you, but it's too weird to pass on. I dreamed about getting JoJo pregnant. Good Lord. I know how susceptible to suggestions I am. I should really stop talking to you about this. Then I will stop thinking about them. Then I will stop dreaming about them. Oh that was weird.

But later today though, I saw the picture of the first real life hottie I've ever seen. I can't even talk straight now. I went out this evening, it was no better. My heels are bleeding, I mean, can I ever find shoes that fit perfectly? These are brand new and it looks like the entirety of me has been killed in those shoes- that's a bit much, sorry. Not that much blood. I'm not really fond of exaggeration these days actually. The back openings (collars) are all soaking red though. But anyways they will be fine. I'll just have to wear normal socks from now. I was sweating so much, too. I figured what the fuck, I'll let my hair down. and that's the price to pay. I was all shiny when I got home and I felt like I was drowning in my own sweat.

Ah, yes, sorry. I can't post picture of him here, because it happens to be someone I find attractive all around. What, a respectable scientist and a hottie? It was a picture when he was 18 though, taken 62 years ago. In that way it is yet again a character. It also kind of confirms my belief that men are best looking in high school and college.

Gee he's really hot. He's got that little something... going on. A bit wicked-ish in the picture. Lovely.

Of course it's all in my perception. Nothing wicked about the guy on paper.

There are several kinds of hotness, right. It applies to both men and women. The myriad artificial varieties are just that, artificial. Only natural ones speak to your personality. I think everyone knows that. When you create that artificial look- women do it more with makeup and whatnot, but men can throw on pricey suits and shoes also- it's basically an advertisement. It's purpose-driven. But when you are just you- you are just you. If you are out there running ad all day nobody knows the real you.

Anyway he's definitely all naturally hot. I am a platonic, diary. I want to make it clear that I don't want to have sex with him. Just appreciation.

I don't ask for much, diary. Let me see a good-looking guy every other day and I'm happy. But basically everybody lacks that wickedness- that intelligent wickedness, you know what I'm saying?

I was going to cancel the Poland trip. Something just changed.

I don't need to go to Switzerland yet... physically. I have a feeling that I'm going to pay them a visit in some other ways tho.

You may say the day is fleeting, diary. Shit I forgot to water the plants. wait a sec.

You gotta do the chores as they occur to you. I took out the roots of the orchid now too. 3/3 orchids have died in my hand. I'm done. Clearly I am more of a tree person. Sad basket of composition. The thorny flower actually died before the orchid, then the orchid, and now just this red one left. I'm sure it's only a matter of time. The trees are well. They won't die.

Oh..

I was just wondering if when you reach this stage of research, certain questions are inevitable.

Many people asked the same questions. The answers are not varied. Prophetic power is useful anywhere, in any field. One needs maths to back it up. Sadly when I think about math, now, I still can't move past Martin Gardner's stuff. It's still recreational. I never understood what actuarial maths meant whenever V and I had a conversation. I am way too connected to the masses, now that I look at it. I constantly worry that I'd lose touch with humanity. Purists don't actually give a fuck about the masses.

I am too caring.

Yah, I'm telling you diary. I'm too caring, that's why I'm not into maths. But I can be. I can be not too caring.

I don't know where to begin. Never thought there'd be a day I'd use actual... I mean serious... I mean complex... see it's a philosophical, conceptual difference, but let me just say actual - maths. It's reasoning with symbols, how hard could it be? I have to be this arrogant to begin.

Oh -

I'm getting used to wearing a thong.

Night diary. the fuck is waiting for us tomorrow?






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