Monday, July 10, 2017

It's hard to concentrate

I get 7 hours of sleep every night - at least - and I'm tired in the day. Why? God I hope Dio comes to my dream tonight so we can fuck.

makes you think.

I've seen some more opinions, diary. There are only so many opinions. All contradict each other one way or another. There is not so much "out of the box". I'm getting... no I'm not bored, there must be something I'm missing. Don't. Don't be bored.

Sometimes you are so clear-headed you just want to fuck Dio to feel down to earth again. I'm talking about Dio in this piece of fanart I've had as my phone's lock screen for a long time: Dio is pressed against it. Aw. I would love to torture him a little.

But I get when guys feel like this they actually want to pick up someone. The thought of carrying out my fantasy irl is unfathomable to me. Nobody looks like that, I mean duh, but this is kind of interesting. When men fantasize, I'm guessing, they're actually picturing some real women. They may be supermodels, but they're out there. You can easily find them in magazines. I know I know "nobody jerks off to magazine anymore yadda yadda.." I want to fuck Dio and not some Dio look-alike, not to mention there are no Dio look-alikes irl.

Funny thing about cosplaying, right. When I was into it, I only cosplayed as 3D characters. I did not even think once to go as someone from anime, because that's just ridiculous. Real life people can never look like anime characters, are you fucking kidding me. Even in 3D games you have to forget about the cartoony ones (that's a given from what I told you yesterday). I cosplayed as some of the characters from DW/SW and I'm mighty happy about it.

Oh no. I just remembered I did do a 2D character from this game I like. Oh fuck. My bad. It was only once.

Anyway that's all I'm saying. I'd rather live in the real world fully and keep all my fantasy in my head. There is no porting. I don't even want to go to comic-cons. I did go to PAX once but that once was enough to convince me I should never go again. It's nice and sad at the same time. I'm rigid like that, diary. I would not allow myself to go to that type of thing after certain age anyway.

Age is so fucking important but at the same time isn't.

I wonder how many times I'd be in jail if I'm a guy. Being a woman is tough, but it definitely helps toning down my... I don't know what you call it.

I'm OK.

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