Friday, May 12, 2017

Wasted a bunch of time

Wasted a bunch of time with unattractive retards today. There is no nicer way to put it. Why bother? Why bother even in my fucking diary. This is my fucking diary damn it. I don't have to preface it with "they're nice". They're desperate, and desperate people are always "nice".

Before they turn murderous or pathetic of course.

Oh my god, they're so stupid. There has to be genuinely something wrong with me that I let these Goddamn stupid people get in touch with me.  It's the disease of wanting to appear kind and down to earth and blend into the masses. I'm telling you it's a fucking disease.  Why can't I stick to the things that work for me? Why am I opening myself up to these fucking people for the off chance that someone might surprise me?

God Goodness God it's too much stupid. So so so so stupid.

These people with their stupid fucking quirks. Look at what peace time breeds. Complacent people with stupid fucking quirks. Stupid fucking hobbies and their mediocrity at it. It's not even possible to show them contempt because they don't even register it. Maybe I'm too subtle. I am polite. But Goddamn nobody takes a hint. You go out with someone on April Fools and never text them back and it takes them a month to catch the drift. Others don't sense the boredom and hostility in my speech and continue to enjoy the conversation. They take you for granted as a source of information and entertainment. Well I fucking don't enjoy the conversation and I always find myself scramble to shut it off ten back-and-forths in.

Can you imagine. Can you imagine- that someone not only has to put up with the mental stalemate, but also has to fucking touch them at some point? God that's disgusting. I'm glad it's just a picture attached to some words. God I can't imagine listening to the voice. The less I know the better, though they seem to think the opposite. People have no self-awareness when desperate.

Enough of that. Every once in a while I get stupid. This has become very expensive. There are some worthy things needing attention, and those worthy people who made those things are going to have heart aches knowing their work isn't getting the attention it deserves. It's my bad.

This is definitely my fault. I've seen others make this mistake constantly but I've made this mistake too.

I am very sorry.

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