Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Childhood Crush

Dear Diary:

I saw my "childhood crush" while doing my quick grocery shopping today. I immediately wanted to tell you about it. There must have been another Japanese tourist group just getting here. Too bad it was raining and gloomy. I love rain btw, and it's still raining as I'm writing this entry, it's so nice. But such weather tends to force tourists into shops and stores. I was in the cheese aisle and this kid was pushing a shopping cart that contained his two brothers, or friends- hard to tell, they're about the same age. Just trying to have some fun. Our eyes locked for one second, but it felt like something happened. An undercurrent, a subdued shock occurred. It hit me- he was whom I dreamed about as a kid. It's as if my old self had inhabited in my head... took it over for a second, and like lightning some thoughts flashed in my minds. Like I could envision myself being with this kid as a kid ... all those years ago, when I was so little.

And in the same second our eyes locked, his expression changed and he stopped what he was doing, and I knew it hit him, too. Like he knew "it was me" but I don't know what am I to him. However I had been dwelling on some heavy stuff in the day and I just wanted to get a few items and get out. So after the prolonged second I was myself again, and I only wondered where his, or their parents were, as I left.

I went to the ice cream section. In about a minute, the kid showed up again. Still had the two other kids in the cart. He sort of tilted his head behind them and gave me a meaningful look. Kind of like the dreamy, wondering look he had while looking up straight at me when I left the aisle.

If I ever had a type, it was this boy... when I was his age. I'm grateful that God gave me this encounter. I wish my old self would know. This boy who followed me in the grocery store and giving me fateful, morose looks.

This type, it's so specific. There is something emotional in there, it was probably the second most familiar "vibe" following meeting my own doppelgänger, which I'd feel very uneasy about.

Curiously, I have already forgotten what he looked like, and even though the old memories were being recalled, I did not linger.

Praise God. Thank you.


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